Its You, Its Me

a broken heart
bleeding feelings
no way to go
no one to care

every night she cries on her bed
every night she is up and sob
the summer turns brown
every night remains the same

to wipe out the tears
to make a short-lived smile
i just try.....

is it the wanting of peace that holds her here?
or is it the wait for the one?
she just hopes and waits
as the sun rises in this dawn
her hopes won't be in vain
her prayers wont be denied
her heart will be mended
she'll be in paradise...

Sins

tonight i'm thinking of sins.....

we all sin for some reason in life, sometimes to protect ourselves, sometimes trying to protect something we value...

i guess its a part of life and it completes life....
there won't be anyone in this world who hasn't sinned, just as Christ said, and the magnitude of a sin can't be measured by anyone cause there's a chain of unfortunate events that leads to committing a sin. Sin is an inevitability of life as anyone who take a real look at it, understand. it creates a feeling of right and wrong in us and drives us away from it but there's a group of people, susceptible to sins, it could be against strangers, or it could be against friends and family members

Is it so bad??
i don't know, really. its not always one's choice to sin. the major instinct of human mind is not to sin or stay away from the circumstances which may make one commit a sin, i believe, but people just sin, sometimes unknowingly, sometimes unwillingly.

ignorance is another factor. i think people like ajmal kasab got a wicked and unjust view about India and such minds are flammable, when its related with people and religion, so they just act unknowingly and intensely but the real sin is to those who ignited such young minds with hatred and intolerance and they just let these minds engulfed in violence and such a result like in mumbai was easily attainable. no doubt, kasab has sinned, he killed a lot of innocent people but there're more responsible people for such a terrible act, catching a pawn never paves way to win a hideous war, its just a step, small but relevant, but the real culprits hideout somewhere, and it should be those who we should be aiming

A perfect and sinless world may look ideal but not really, the human mind is balanced on its reaction towards negatives and positives, a thrive to conquer the unknown and to find a betterment, but for this, the dark sides of life is the motivation, we all like to change and change from what??? we change from the dark to bright and if there's no darkness brightness may not seem that bright

so do we need sin?? i guess its very complex, i believe its not our choice to sin and since human mind never reaches a certain stability as it inherited incompleteness , there will be sins...

Friends!!!

Friends, this single word has a lot of meaning to everyone as it defines a person or a number of people whom we care, love and enjoy... i know countless films have been produced on the same theme too.. it symbolize one of the basic yet profound feelings of human and that is nothing but togetherness.

i have many friends and the moments with them i cherish in my mind, many of them are not with me presently and our bonds has shrunk facing the hard parts of life like not being in contact for weeks, or they stay in different countries etc.. but what really important i felt that every single one of them had made a mark in my mind, the same as i did to them, i believe and they had filled a lot of space in my life with laughter, joy and love. there was no limits, no boundaries, no secrets, it was simply great...

many relations have broken and seems irreparable but no friendship, i think not beyond saving. just put aside our egos and dial the number and it may start a new day. for me i never use to break any of my friendship, and even if someone gets angry about me or after a vicious fight i use to talk to them and make it lighter, i guess that you've to do, many times i've done that for my other friends happiness, it feels right when considering everyone, for my personal thoughts it may sound utterly foolish.

at the moment i'm not in my class, in fact i'm very far from it, have to realize and live with it so i'm not worried too, it has to end this way. no one can be together for too long and i guess that makes it so valuable and precious, the feeling of loosing opens our eyes and we just know how important was all those tiny moments you had with your friends and its even more beautiful when you just think of the days of glory....

friendship is a continuation of your mind and knowledge and it fulfills the meaning of togetherness, as without anything in common a group of people starts up a relation and it grows so deep that you never want to miss anyone ever!!! its magical..

Am i religious???

I was not a faithful believer and follower of church, when i was a boy i used to see it as an obstacle on my way to playground on Sundays and it was purely a childish thought of a boy. i used to read a lot of books from my early childhood and it made me wonder about the world, there was a sense of right and wrong about everything inside me and i tried to define my world around such constraints, so there was a question raised in my mind about belief, what is it? what is the purpose of believing and what does the gods symbolize???

i was born Christian and i was raised the same, but there was something telling me to look for the unseen, all the stories and folk-tale spoke the same old religious version of Christ and his thoughts about humanity and in many of the stories i found a lot of unanswered questions, many of them never satisfied the logic and reason and  i found most of them was written for the common man to be free from agonies of life. the other aspects of such a belief was the fear, the fear that humans will lose morality and plunge into a realm of darkness. it may be true in a way, i presume but i really think people should understand what's being told and what's being real about it, but sadly people just takes the crust of it and deliberately miss the real message. i believe every religion speaks the same truth, the paths are different though it proceeds to the same result.

people often find it very difficult to adjust the differences in the varying casts and creeds there in our society and i never like the idea behind it, once the individual gains prominence, they fear morality will fade but i think its utter foolishness, we, the people are the real treasure for any community and if people gets more freedom it surely adds to the shaping up of the community as fresh ideas come to it in a random but specific way and it helps the growth, but we simply closed our eyes and protested everything that came in our way. the naked truth is always one people fear and it makes our life in worries, to open up and see, it takes nothing, but here we're trapped in the rules that we created to protect something which's just our mind's creation. every god tells the same story, every holy books leads the same ideals, and if one devote himself to an idea without understanding the interwoven truths, its a burden for him and i see a lot of people around me just like that, they believe whatever they read in the bible or any other religious books and confine their life around such a frame, i can't tell they are a 100% wrong but i'm sure thats not the way to follow

we got divided by this caste system which we care a lot in our life, it never united us and it made a gap in people's mind which was ever growing up all these times and many contributing factors in today's world has added in making that gap deep. i don't have a plan to reverse anything and its not possible in a fortnight, but it is possible, people should clarify on their beliefs and respect should be there for another individual and his or her belief.

everyone's the same and equal..

Shadow

The chair was there and waiting
the window was open and radiant
no creature on earth could steal the moment
the beauty of life

the air was cold and heavy
the shadow was upon the mirror
trying desperate to outshine
the beauty of darkness

the sound could be heard
the evil is evaporated
as the shadow turns itself white
nothing holds more truth in life

The Bleeding Truth

life's really something, can't define it....

when you think its over, it always gives you a clue to another way, to another piece of puzzle that is life itself

it holds many secrets, left alone to be discovered, i just hope i see those, as i walk by

this small prayer of mine means a lot to me, it could very well define my whole life

something calls me back to my memories,

no other way

i belong there....

and one day i reach there

the sun is bright and the sky is blue, yet i'm powerless to say the words i needed the most

but its clear, for us, we know....

i guess i knew this destiny, for a very long time....

way long before it even started to form in our brains

the bleeding truth, the blood is thick and pure to the drops

Photography, Unknown Realms of Myself

Photography - "The act of capturing a frame of time, made timeless"

i don't know how far the definition i gave is true, but i see it that way. i was never interested in any of the art forms till 2003. I borrowed a small Pentax camera from my brother in law, it seemed ok for me for some time and it worked flawless till i returned it to him after 2 years. The Pentax was a normal fixed focal length camera and it was very good in capturing "just snaps"

my first real digital camera was a Canon Powershot A 510, i did quite a research behind before selecting the model to buy, there was not even a single night i would sit in net for hours reading the specifications and technical details of different products from a lot of companies, i finally ended up with this model and it handled well, its still with me, almost 13000 photos i have taken with it in its almost five years life with me, i still love that camera and its functions, you simply can't match and it may be injustice to compare it with high-tech compact cameras of today, with just 3.2 MP it gave me amazing results, thanks to the high quality optics from Canon.

The SLR era began last year for me, 2008 December 24, i got my First D-SLR as a Christmas present from my mom, it was another Canon, this time EOS 1000D, its one of the cheapest but operational to its core, has the ability to compete with some high end cameras, fits in my hand, and light (merely half a kilo), it was a fun to shoot with that cam but I've to admit, it hasn't been used for a greater share of time, it was waiting for me in my home and just clocks over a 3000 photos as we almost completed an year......

i was always fascinated with landscapes and most of my photos will be of a nature element, and some abstracts and experiments with different angles and pets are also a subjects for me, to a greater extent i like it as my hobby and in future i want to organize a slide show of my works

the most important aspect of photography is what i felt that your creativity is seen the same even after years and the same time whenever i see a comment in my webpage i feel better, i feel that i'm acknowledged of my work, be it anything, something in that picture caught a pair of eyes and it keeps people to think of that particular topic, that is really one of the most wonderful thing a photo alone can do, a picture speaks a 1000 words after all

May be Continued

Insomniac

i just feel to write something................ may be the day makes me feel so!!!!!

i am tired really, the body started feeling so, eyes are almost closed, knee has some pain...

still i don't want to sleep,

i want to be awake and thinking

what makes you special???

now i'm trying hard not to let my eyes close

i should fell asleep, till that very moment, i want to be in control, awake and smiling

everything else has shrunk into mere chances, the one thing is certain that i am alive and i am planing

i am insomniac, i like it...

Rain

    The rain has came and gone,
    the tears has slid of my eyes,
    i heard a song away,
    away in the woods.
    i closed my eyes,
    my cheeks were waiting for a soft touch,
    i was waiting,waiting for you.
    coming to wipe of my tears ,
    to save me of these frozen tunnel i built to hide myself.
    i felt cold,it made me shiver.
    the winds beat in my ear,
    i could hear the rain,with its all beauty and slow pace...
    its raining
    its raining slowly.......



i don't remember the day i wrote it, but i still feel the breeze on my face as i was typing this in my mobile, it was one year ago, i was in the terrace of hostel and i remember sending this to all my friends....

miles apart, closer than ever

what makes us human???

i guess its the understanding of a fellow being, the one thing that qualifies a life worth living

if you take a moment to stop and listen to the thousands of people walk by you, its not difficult to find out who they are, or who you are...

if you start out to search for the reason of your existence, the whole universe supports you!, i read it in "The Alchemist" i hope its true, as the whole book was great in inspiring people to try and seek what they really need. i liked the whole concept of it, to you, i start my journey...

i know this journey never ends, or there's no destination clearly marked for it, as  the life itself, its a never ending river, it floats, flows sometimes so gentle and calm, some other time totally in a rage...
which one should i choose?? i always felt to set off and search for what i need, i think the time has come for that, everyone comes to a certain paradigm of life like this as sometimes the whole idea may seem absurd but that absurdity is the sweetest facet of it.

here i stand, and i stand alone....