How much is your life worth?

most of the people i know don't really value their life, me also, have to admit that. well don't bother me. i am not the one to make a judgement on the people who don't value life or the others who value it a lot. as i think of it, i find it rather common to people, that we never care for things until the moment we're gonna loose it and this stays true even for our dear life. well that is human life after all.

that's not the point of talk for tonight. this incident didn't leave too much of a mark in me, but everything leaves a memory and this is not classified as the golden or sweet. this incident is a death. a death of someone i barely knew. you might think whats so special about it? there's nothing special but its there in my mind, its just there.

it happened in august 08, not sure of the date. we friends were out for a small party (read it as escaping the stupid food of mess) so we liked those events. we just go to a favorite hotel, eat enough chicken then an ice cream. thats the usual plan but on that day it was different.

one of my friend stays in his home, the rest of us are in hostel, he usually waits us in town and we met and he got a call, he stopped walking and told us, "guys our lab assistants met with an accident, they're in medical college, we've to go" so we started to the hospital, i never knew it would turn out the way it did.

we reached the hospital and the guard wouldn't let us in, he needs bribe. i don't remember we paid him or not but we got in. we're studying for pg and our lab assistant was ok, he had some bruises and cuts, there was nothing to worry about him and he was conscious. so we greeted him and wished him a speedy recovery. the lab assistant for the UG who is younger was in a critical condition and was in Intensive care unit in a different block.

we got there and only two can go inside at a time, and we are six. so me and my friend waited for our turn. my other friends went inside as 2 batches and came out, they said its serious. our turn came, we got inside the building, and its dirty everywhere, people spits on the walls, cigarettes, and all dirty stuff i can remember. we got into a room, it says ICU but it never looked an actual ICU, its just open for anyone to come and visit, it was a long hall, a bed is there, a patient is there and he is breathing heavily, a heart beat monitor plugged into his index finger i guess, it display 90+ per minute and increasing. i noticed all these, then there was a table a doctor(probably a junior) and some nurses are talking something and smiling. i couldn't find our patient there and i asked them where he is.

"its him in the bed" he replied, i still remember that monotonous voice.

i couldn't even think it was him, his face was badly hurt, all his right side of facial bones were broken so his face was full of inflammation and i couldn't recognize him, he was a young and always smiling person. they told me he has head injury and only a hospital that is 600 km away can cure him and this guy's not so rich and there's nothing further they can do there. they were just waiting for the heart beat to come down and internal bleeding to stop. he also had his right forearm broken which had been plastered.

we got out me and my friends were angry cause of the insignificance they shown, a person is fighting for his life and the ones who should be taking care just sitting and chatting. that ICU was full of dirt, no AC just a small stupid fan. open windows, mosquitoes, every piece of crap that should not belong to an ICU was there. his boys family was outside, we gave our phone numbers and left. that day's party wasn't so much fun.

the next day morning at 6 am, my friend woke me up, i knew why he woke me, he's gone. i felt numb, it was obvious and expected but i couldn't believe, death leaves a space inside our hearts which is never complete again. we started to hospital and everyone was there, his family was sobbing and we went into morgue, there was his body just lying lifeless on the floor soaked wet with disinfectant and fluids, left in a cloth filled of blood on a corner, like a piece of wasted cloth. i'll never forget that sight. i couldn't help thinking he was alive just a few hours ago and i believe a lot of people are responsible for his death, not just the driver of the bus which hit their bike.
it took 2 days to release his body, they didn't have enough money and the postmortem got delayed.
just before his creamtion, his father held his feet and prayed holding it and crying, then his body was slowly moved into the furnace.
he was just in his early twenties...

to ashes, to nothingness, you walk away and what you've left behind still stays in our mind. i said this to myself, slowly.

How much is your life worth???